I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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