if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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