The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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