As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
