he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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