Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize