He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
