I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
