My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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