Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
