Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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