If i could tip my vagina, i would.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
