I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
