I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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