Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My cat gives me a boner
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize