So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
