hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
