meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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