So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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