I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
