So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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