he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This house was built for laser tag.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
