There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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