When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
