if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
