I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
