Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
