just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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