We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
