She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
