he shaved USA in his pubs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
