she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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