We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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