The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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