i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
