she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
