Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
