just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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