I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
