no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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