I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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