i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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