i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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