Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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