Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
