I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
