Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
