guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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