I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
