im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
