One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
