I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
