have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
