Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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