You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
