Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Randomize
