at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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