No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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