I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
