the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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