Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
