i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize