Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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