Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Watching her eat just hurts me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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