i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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