Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
a search helicopter?!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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