the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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