Don't make out with my wife yet
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
