I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
