If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
