Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
