We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
