why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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