all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
