Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
