If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
