Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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