Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
