Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
