fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
