He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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